As promised, I thought that I would post some theories I have about love and life.
Just to clarify before I begin, the following is my opinion. By no means have I done any type of scientific research to back up my theories and so, I admit, they may be flawed. That being said, the theories are a result of active observation of some of my friends and the people around me. Anyways, take from them what you will. Food for thought.
Let’s begin.
Theory #1: Why some men are players
Alright, this theory is based on all the guys that I know that are overall good guys but that play women. It can be frustrating, mostly because these are guys that are able to separate their everyday lives and personality (usually great people) with how they treat women and what they use them for.
My theory on why some men are players is that usually these are men who themselves have been hurt in the past by a relationship or a woman.
Think about it for one second. Think of all the “players” you know out there. Did they start out as players? Or did they maybe have an experience in their past that has tainted them or jaded them? Most of the players I know (and trust me, I know a lot of them) are great guys, good people, students, family members, friends, and workers etc. But they just aren’t that good to women. And more often than not, if you were to analyze their past, I think you’d find that each “player” has most likely had one or two really bad experiences with a partner in the past.
When a woman goes through a negative experience with a partner, it often causes her to crave love and acceptance even more than before. After a bad experience, women often are not turned off of love all together, instead, usually they crave it even more than before. Men, on the other hand, after they’ve been hurt once or twice, begin to separate having a good time from love. They now are less interested in relationships because they’ve already been hurt and now are looking out for themselves before being interested in a serious relationship.
The theory is simple. Think about it. Of all the guys you know who are “players”, I bet you could link them to one or two girls that broke their heart in the past, that turned them off to the idea of love, at least for a bit, and therefore now they are more likely to be uninterested in love.
But it's all a show!
Maybe I should be a psychologist? I think my theory rocks.
Theory #2: Why some women are players
This theory of mine also derives from observing many different women around me. The women that I know that are most interested in having a good time without having a relationship have one thing in common. The absence of a male father figure in their lives.
Now, I want to reiterate that I am not trying to offend anyone by my post. I realize that I could be totally off (and if that’s the case, I welcome you to comment on this post and give me your opinion!)
All I’m saying is that a lot of the women that I know that could be seen as “promiscuous” are usually ones that have lacked a strong male presence in their childhood. As a girl grows older, I think it is imperative that she has a father figure in her that demonstrates to her how a woman should be treated, respected, admired, and loved. As well as someone who reiterates how she deserves to treat herself. If a girl is lacking that in some way, I think her perception of men can be a bit skewed. I have many friends who tell me that to this day, because they were lacking a father figure in their lives, they now seek validation from men and often reach out to them in the easiest way, through promiscuity. (Perhaps it is a way to get validation from that “father figure” that wasn’t there for them? Just an idea???)
Every woman deserves to be desired, to be put on a pedestal, to be pampered, to be treated as if she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Now, to be clear, I’m not saying that going out and having a good time is a sign of promiscuity or weakness, not at all! I’m just saying that in terms of society’s typical and stereotyped “promiscuous” woman, if I had to guess, I bet that in her past/childhood, she was lacking a strong male figure that showed her just how much of a gem she really is.
Again, don’t hate! These are just my theories...totally based on observation and I am always ready to discuss!
Love, Kiran.
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I have a friend that plays so many girls. He has never been in a serious, or even kind of serious relationship, as far as i know. There very well could be something in his past, or perhaps that his father left his family, i had never thought of it before. I jsut assumed he was missing some morals or something.
ReplyDeleteI think a missing father would affect anyone's view on love, life, and promiscuity, as you put it, not just affecting women. the same goes for a mother, imagine if you did not grow up with your mom. How different would you be? It's kind of scary to think about.
Another theory could be, maybe some guys grew up being very unattractive and got negative attention from girls all of his life. Then he grows up to be attractive and he utilizes his looks to, in a way, get back at the opposite sex. It's an awful thing to think about, but it's alive in this day and age.
ReplyDeleteI have met guys with this mindset. They wear a good disguise, but try to avoid them.
I quote Chris Rock too much. But his theory is that guys never get hit on, so when they do - rarely - they take advantage of the opportunity.
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