When does a challenge become a bad idea?

So, as most people who are close to me know, this year, my biggest challenge has been working on my IPP which is a video documentary on arranged marriages.

I have sincerely enjoyed the process, heck to some extent, I even enjoy staying at school late night after night working away at something I'm so passionate about.

But lately, I've got to thinking, was this IPP a good idea?

Now don't get me wrong, I love my topic, arranged marriages. It is one that is so intense and passionate, one I feel very strongly about. It is a topic I think people need to be educated on and I honestly feel I have come across stories throughout this six month process so far that deserve and need to be told. So I don't regret choosing arranged marriages as my topic for my independent professional project this year...not one bit. I love it as much today as I did a year ago when I decided on it.

The problem I'm struggling with now is the video documentary part of it. When I decided to do a doc last year, it was because I truly believed this was the medium that was best suited for this topic. It was the medium which would most accurately portray the issue in its full capacity.

But I look back now, and I wonder, did I make a mistake? The reason being is that I am a journalist. I am a writer, I am an interviewer, I am a storyteller. But I am not a shooter, and I definitely am not an editor.

It brings me to the question: when does challenging yourself become a mistake? I chose the video documentary medium because I thought, well, that it was the best medium to portray the issue and that even though I was completely unfamiliar with shooting and editing, it was a challenge and one I should face in order to grow and learn.

And have I grown and learned a lot. Definitely. Do I regret that? No way. Have a learned so much about the production of a documentary that is invaluable? Yes. Have I gained amazing skills? For sure.

But was it the right answer? I'm not sure.

The reason being is because....I am all for challenging one's self, but as I work on my documentary night after night, I realize one thing. This is not as good as it could be. It is not reaching the potential it could be. IT could be better.

I am so happy with my interviews, my topic, my stories. But as I look at the way the interviews are framed, my b-roll, the lighting, even the editing, I think, man, a professional shooter or editor could really have made this 100 per cent better.

I really wish that I had chosen to get someone else to shoot and edit this documentary for me. Not because I am lazy or because I haven't enjoyed the process, but because I feel indebted to my topic. I feel such loyalty and a connection to it....and I don't think I've done it justice in terms of my shots or my edits.

Why not? Because those things just aren't my strength. And while I am all for challenges and growth, I have started to realize, we are good at what we are good at, and I think my documentary would be a lot more effective had I spent more time storytelling and interviewing and less time shooting and editing.

This post isn't about complaining....or knocking my documentary. I'm sure in the end, it will be something I am incredibly proud of.

I just feel that I was blessed with discovering such a wonderful topic, one that deserves to have justice done to it, and I'm not sure it will be done because of the shooting and editing which really bothers me.

Let me propose an analogy. It's as though you have an amazing idea for a painting to convey a topic...for argument's sake, an idea of how to portray love through a painting...maybe it's through the use of colour, texture, and technique.....but just because you have a topic and an idea of how to tell the story, it doesn't mean, if you are not a painter or have the natural talent as an artist, that you'll be able to portray your idea as well as you could if you were a professional painter.

When my documentary is done, I'll be proud. And I'm so grateful to everyone who has helped me or participated in it. But do I hope to one day have the opportunity to take this topic and re-do it, this time by being the producer, director, and journalist....not the shooter and editor... for sure.