Is inspiration all around me?

Today’s post is inspired by the people around me.

Let’s begin on a positive note. Today, after being let out of class early, I ventured on to my regular and routine visit to the gym. As I approached the front desk at Shapes, a huge smile spread across my face. There, sitting next to the front desk worker, was a huge bouquet of flowers. And I mean, huge. The bouquet was stunning to the eye, elegant, lovely, and gorgeous. Pretty, floral, and pink. I couldn’t help but stop and smile and then lean in (not lean down, the flowers were taller than me!) and smell. Of course, I had to ask the worker where they had come from. She proceeded to tell me that they were for one of the female trainers. Apparently, this was the third week that flowers were delivered to Shapes in her name. The girl mentioned that the workers think the flowers are being sent from her secret admirer or a new boyfriend. I gushed, how beautiful!!!! I know a lot of people think that flowers are overrated. I don’t. What a sweet and thoughtful declaration of love, and appreciation flowers can be. The bouquet was stunning and as I collided with Olivia later on, the trainer who the flowers were for, I told her how beautiful I thought the gift was. I could not help but smile and notice how happy she looked to have received it. Anonymous stranger or new boyfriend, either way, this guy or girl truly made her day. And for that, I was impressed and inspired.

Now I am going to move on to my real topic for this blog; cheaters. First, let me begin by saying, I have never been cheated on, I have never cheated on anyone, and I don’t agree with the idea of cheating. I think that I am a fairly non-judgemental person though; I don’t proceed to pass judgement on people who have cheated on their significant others. It just really is not for me. I think that if you could cheat on your partner, then probably, there is something very wrong with your relationship in the first place. And if you are unable to break up with your partner before you engage in these actions, you might just be scared. Either way, if a guy were to cheat on me, I think it would be one of the most disrespectful things he could do to me. Simply put, it would be a complete disregard for my feelings. Anger, passion, hate, love....these are all emotions. But indifference is the worst thing someone can feel for you and I sincerely think cheating occurs when one partner is indifferent to their partner’s feelings. What is that saying? Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.

Moreover, I think cheating represents a weakness of character in the cheater. Maybe the cheater will also be a bit cowardly, selfish, and disloyal in other areas of their life? I’m not sure but one of my life mottos is that you should never apologize for how you feel. Because feelings are the one thing you cannot help. You may be able to help your actions, those we can control. Our feelings we cannot control. So if my best friend came up to me and said she’d fallen in love with my boyfriend (I’m single, go figure), I’d be likely to forgive her for that....because love you cannot help. If my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, that on the other hand, I’d have a much harder time forgiving or forgetting.

I don’t mean to offend anyone with today’s entry. In fact, I was hesitant to post on the topic. But after reading my classmate Jeremy’s blog the other day about cheating, I was tempted to post a response. Here is a link to his blog about the topic.

http://memoirs-of-a-gentleman.blogspot.com/

His major point is that if a girl would cheat on her boyfriend with him, that really isn’t his issue and he’d go ahead with it. The other day over lunch, he and I started talking about the topic and I, trying to be as open to the idea as possible for argument’s sake, asked him to elaborate. “But Jeremy, you wouldn’t mind being with someone who was cheating on her boyfriend? If she is cheating on her boyfriend, she’ll likely cheat on you too. Is that the kind of person you want to be with?” I asked him curiously.

And how did Jeremy respond to my interrogations? “No,” he replied. “I’d never actually be in a relationship with that kind of girl.”

Point taken and reiterated. A mental note. Guys never want to be with that girl. Of course they want to have fun. We all know it and I’m glad I’m not her. But as a girl myself, I still feel for the girl who thinks otherwise.

So what was the other encounter that inspired my post?

Someone I met the other night. I was at a social function, one where there were a lot of young people around, ready for a good time. A guy approached me and we got to talking. For a while, we talked about friends, life, and school. The conversation was going normally well until he brought up his girlfriend from back home (Calgary). I thought it was a bit off that he would want to go into such great detail about her with a complete stranger, but being the hopeless romantic I am, I listened contently. In fact, the more he talked, the more appealing he became. I couldn’t help but think how refreshing it was to find a guy who was so openly in love with his girlfriend.

He went on and on, talking about this perfect girl from back home that he missed dearly. I gushed along with him. He then went on to tell me that a lot of his friends often encourage him to cheat on her. I looked at him horrified and quickly blurted out,” Oh no!!! Don’t do that, it would ruin her.” He adamantly agreed. He would feel too guilty and would end up telling her himself if he cheated and she would never take him back, he told me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“What a good guy,” I thought.

After our epically long but pleasant conversation, I went over to one of my good friends and, as most girls do, told her about how nice and loyal this new guy was that I’d just spoken with (also mentioning that it was a bit strange that he’d opened up to me so quickly). My friend looked at me, pointed at the guy, and said, “That guy? He cheats on that same girlfriend all the time. I’ve seen it with my own eyes on multiple occasions.”

I stood there dumbfounded. He’d completely made a fool of me. I realized that he was nothing more than a master player. Normally, I am quite intuitive. I had picked up on his telling me in the beginning of the conversation that he was once a big player but I eventually ignored that sketchy feeling because he seemed so sincere about his girlfriend. Anyways, it all made sense now. He had told me about the girlfriend so that I’d feel closer to him (also to avoid my finding out about her from mutual friends). After making himself look like the perfect guy to me, he then went on to bring up the topic of cheating to see how I’d react to it and if I’d be open to the possibility.

Psychologically, it makes so much sense. I bet a lot of girls fall for the whole “Oh, he doesn’t usually cheat, I must be special” thing. I'm not saying I'm any better. I almost did too ( not that I would have fallen for him, but I did fall for his act!)I foiled his plan though by jumping right in and telling him how destructive cheating can be and he had to backtrack. I never would have jumped to the conclusion that he cared enough to play me but my friend insists. This guy is a major player and cheater. What a silly boy. And so, this post was inspired by the dumb boy who regulary cheats on his unsuspecting girlfriend back in Calgary.

A lesson to everyone out there. Cheating sucks. Cheating hurts. Cheating is sketchy. Don’t do it.

Love, Kiran.