Another kind of love. Empathy.

I decided on what my blog posts were going to be earlier this week....and will still post those two topics later on (preview: my theories on why some men are womanizers and why some women are promiscuous...stay tuned!) but I decided after my encounter with a woman at Starbucks today that I had to post about her.

I was at Starbucks on Osborne today after school, getting myself a coffee and sitting down to do some homework. That particular Starbucks is home to me. I can be found there a few times a week on coffee dates, studying, or just getting a drink. I’m there regularly and loyally and always get my signature venti Earl Grey tea with a shot of caramel.

Anyways, every time I've been there in the last month, I’ve seen the same guy there. Now this guy is a simple guy. He is in a wheelchair, has an obvious deformity to his face, and a distinct speech impediment. He moves around the store in his wheelchair and approaches different people, spends a few mins at each table, and then moves on.
I have had him come up to me quite a few times. I always quietly smile at him and make way if he needs me to. He usually comes to my table, talks to me (I have never been able to understand what he is saying), and then he moves on.

Today, something different happened. I was sitting at my table writing on my laptop when the same guy approached. I smiled at him, moved some chairs for him, and then continued on with my work. This has been the standard response towards him. Every person I have seen with him reacts quite similarly. Except today. At the table next to me was a lady, about 40 I'd say. She was a simple woman but beautiful and I could tell that she was probably waiting for a friend of hers to meet her for a coffee date.

The man in the wheelchair rolled up to her. I had my headphones in and so I could not hear what they were talking about and I proceeded to write. After about 5 mins or so, I glanced over. The man in the wheelchair was still at her table with her. This was odd. I'd never seen him stay at a table for more than a minute or so. Most people did not talk to him for that long because it was so difficult to understand what he was saying. I slowly took my headphones out and listened. The woman was talking to the man. They were chatting. She could understand what he was saying. She was laughing. She told him that he was an inspiration to her and she continued by asking him a few more questions and soon, I knew this man's history. He had been in a car accident at the age of 19, about 10 years ago, and had been seriously disabled since. The woman related with the man, told him about her own son that was 19, and even pulled out some photographs that she had with her to share with him. They laughed for a while longer and soon thereafter, the man moved on.

A few minutes later, I couldn't help myself. I turned to her and said, “I’ve seen countless people smile awkwardly at that man, barely look him, or talk to him in a condescending and pitiful way. You are the only person who I have seen reach out to that man. Thank you for that. You inspired me." The lady looked at me, expressed that she believes that everyone deserves a little empathy, and then wiped her tears that she said I caused because of my kind words.

She told me later she was a teacher and had a student in one of her classes that also had a speech impediment. She said, as long as you listen closely, even if you miss a few words, you can eventually pick up what they are saying.
She had asked the man if he was hitting on her during the conversation as a joke. She said his reply was, “for now, we're just talking. But soon, you'll see how incredible I am and not be able to resist."

We laughed together. The fact that he had that much insight is more than most of the bozo men we've met in our lives have, we agreed.

I want to thank you, mystery woman. Because you inspired me. I consider myself an open and inviting person to most and live my life trying to be as good of a human being as possible but when I couldn't understand that man on the first try, I did just give up on him. You did not. Your empathetic and patient nature towards him touched me so and was one of the nicest things I have witnessed in awhile.

I couldn't help but have to write about you. You inspired me. You motivated me to be better. And you've given me a lesson in humanity and love that I'm sure I'll remember forever. Thank you.

Lovely Love

For more images, check out the following websites:

http://josevillablog.com/

http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/15-beautiful-modern-love

A Picture Can Speak a Thousand Words

A Little Dose of Saturday Love

Is inspiration all around me?

Today’s post is inspired by the people around me.

Let’s begin on a positive note. Today, after being let out of class early, I ventured on to my regular and routine visit to the gym. As I approached the front desk at Shapes, a huge smile spread across my face. There, sitting next to the front desk worker, was a huge bouquet of flowers. And I mean, huge. The bouquet was stunning to the eye, elegant, lovely, and gorgeous. Pretty, floral, and pink. I couldn’t help but stop and smile and then lean in (not lean down, the flowers were taller than me!) and smell. Of course, I had to ask the worker where they had come from. She proceeded to tell me that they were for one of the female trainers. Apparently, this was the third week that flowers were delivered to Shapes in her name. The girl mentioned that the workers think the flowers are being sent from her secret admirer or a new boyfriend. I gushed, how beautiful!!!! I know a lot of people think that flowers are overrated. I don’t. What a sweet and thoughtful declaration of love, and appreciation flowers can be. The bouquet was stunning and as I collided with Olivia later on, the trainer who the flowers were for, I told her how beautiful I thought the gift was. I could not help but smile and notice how happy she looked to have received it. Anonymous stranger or new boyfriend, either way, this guy or girl truly made her day. And for that, I was impressed and inspired.

Now I am going to move on to my real topic for this blog; cheaters. First, let me begin by saying, I have never been cheated on, I have never cheated on anyone, and I don’t agree with the idea of cheating. I think that I am a fairly non-judgemental person though; I don’t proceed to pass judgement on people who have cheated on their significant others. It just really is not for me. I think that if you could cheat on your partner, then probably, there is something very wrong with your relationship in the first place. And if you are unable to break up with your partner before you engage in these actions, you might just be scared. Either way, if a guy were to cheat on me, I think it would be one of the most disrespectful things he could do to me. Simply put, it would be a complete disregard for my feelings. Anger, passion, hate, love....these are all emotions. But indifference is the worst thing someone can feel for you and I sincerely think cheating occurs when one partner is indifferent to their partner’s feelings. What is that saying? Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.

Moreover, I think cheating represents a weakness of character in the cheater. Maybe the cheater will also be a bit cowardly, selfish, and disloyal in other areas of their life? I’m not sure but one of my life mottos is that you should never apologize for how you feel. Because feelings are the one thing you cannot help. You may be able to help your actions, those we can control. Our feelings we cannot control. So if my best friend came up to me and said she’d fallen in love with my boyfriend (I’m single, go figure), I’d be likely to forgive her for that....because love you cannot help. If my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, that on the other hand, I’d have a much harder time forgiving or forgetting.

I don’t mean to offend anyone with today’s entry. In fact, I was hesitant to post on the topic. But after reading my classmate Jeremy’s blog the other day about cheating, I was tempted to post a response. Here is a link to his blog about the topic.

http://memoirs-of-a-gentleman.blogspot.com/

His major point is that if a girl would cheat on her boyfriend with him, that really isn’t his issue and he’d go ahead with it. The other day over lunch, he and I started talking about the topic and I, trying to be as open to the idea as possible for argument’s sake, asked him to elaborate. “But Jeremy, you wouldn’t mind being with someone who was cheating on her boyfriend? If she is cheating on her boyfriend, she’ll likely cheat on you too. Is that the kind of person you want to be with?” I asked him curiously.

And how did Jeremy respond to my interrogations? “No,” he replied. “I’d never actually be in a relationship with that kind of girl.”

Point taken and reiterated. A mental note. Guys never want to be with that girl. Of course they want to have fun. We all know it and I’m glad I’m not her. But as a girl myself, I still feel for the girl who thinks otherwise.

So what was the other encounter that inspired my post?

Someone I met the other night. I was at a social function, one where there were a lot of young people around, ready for a good time. A guy approached me and we got to talking. For a while, we talked about friends, life, and school. The conversation was going normally well until he brought up his girlfriend from back home (Calgary). I thought it was a bit off that he would want to go into such great detail about her with a complete stranger, but being the hopeless romantic I am, I listened contently. In fact, the more he talked, the more appealing he became. I couldn’t help but think how refreshing it was to find a guy who was so openly in love with his girlfriend.

He went on and on, talking about this perfect girl from back home that he missed dearly. I gushed along with him. He then went on to tell me that a lot of his friends often encourage him to cheat on her. I looked at him horrified and quickly blurted out,” Oh no!!! Don’t do that, it would ruin her.” He adamantly agreed. He would feel too guilty and would end up telling her himself if he cheated and she would never take him back, he told me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“What a good guy,” I thought.

After our epically long but pleasant conversation, I went over to one of my good friends and, as most girls do, told her about how nice and loyal this new guy was that I’d just spoken with (also mentioning that it was a bit strange that he’d opened up to me so quickly). My friend looked at me, pointed at the guy, and said, “That guy? He cheats on that same girlfriend all the time. I’ve seen it with my own eyes on multiple occasions.”

I stood there dumbfounded. He’d completely made a fool of me. I realized that he was nothing more than a master player. Normally, I am quite intuitive. I had picked up on his telling me in the beginning of the conversation that he was once a big player but I eventually ignored that sketchy feeling because he seemed so sincere about his girlfriend. Anyways, it all made sense now. He had told me about the girlfriend so that I’d feel closer to him (also to avoid my finding out about her from mutual friends). After making himself look like the perfect guy to me, he then went on to bring up the topic of cheating to see how I’d react to it and if I’d be open to the possibility.

Psychologically, it makes so much sense. I bet a lot of girls fall for the whole “Oh, he doesn’t usually cheat, I must be special” thing. I'm not saying I'm any better. I almost did too ( not that I would have fallen for him, but I did fall for his act!)I foiled his plan though by jumping right in and telling him how destructive cheating can be and he had to backtrack. I never would have jumped to the conclusion that he cared enough to play me but my friend insists. This guy is a major player and cheater. What a silly boy. And so, this post was inspired by the dumb boy who regulary cheats on his unsuspecting girlfriend back in Calgary.

A lesson to everyone out there. Cheating sucks. Cheating hurts. Cheating is sketchy. Don’t do it.

Love, Kiran.

Dance that feeling!

Another small movie clip that shows just how lovely love can be. Or is it?

500 Days of Summer- Tom thinks he has it all....

Unrealistic Expectations about Love

I found myself sitting in the theatre a few weeks ago watching the movie “The 500 days of Summer” for the second time ( I went with two different girlfriends who were going through a rough time with guys. If you haven’t seen the film yet, go watch it) and agreeing with some of the PIVOTAL messages in the movie.

I found myself nodding aggressively as the narrator described exactly where the main character Tom’s ideas about love derived from. As the movie described, Tom thought that love was exactly what he was taught to believe by the mainstream media. His idea of what love is came from movies, music, cheesy love songs, Valentine’s Day customs, advertisements, billboards, commercials, greeting cards, and every day lovey-dovey images of love that the media presents us with. In the movie, Tom feels duped. Does that perfect, all encompassing, amazing, wonderful, indescribable, and passionate love even exist? Does anyone really feel it? Or is it all a gimmick? A marketing technique designed since the beginning of time to capitalize on this need we all have to feel special?

A heavy question indeed. One that I’m sure as the weeks pass, I’ll explore more and more. Today’s topic of conversation however is not what my definition of love is...that will come later on....but instead, where my ideas of that “ideal love” come from in the first place.

Answer? Movies. Most people argue that love stories and romantic comedies portray a “perfect love” in an ideal way. I am physical proof that this is true because my expectations about love come from movies as well (as unrealistic as they may be).
I enjoy Hollywood films. Who doesn’t cry when in Titanic Jack watches Rose go down in the lifeboat as they both cry, the fireworks blasting in the distant sky, and the haunting music echoing in the background? Sob. So very tragic. Great scene.

Or what about the scene in My Best Friend’s Wedding where Julia Roberts and Dermot Mulroney go on a Chicago boat cruise and she has the opportunity to tell him that she loves him but ultimately doesn’t? The moment just passes her by. Who doesn’t cry alongside her as the best friends dance to their song?



As much as I like Hollywood movies, I will admit that my true expectations about what love is and should be have come from the Bollywood movie industry. Bollywood is the Indian film industry (also known as the biggest film industry in the world, it surpasses Hollywood by quite a lot). There is one movie in particular that has shaped my “unrealistic expectations about love” and I would recommend it to you all. The film in particular, Dilwale Dulhunia Le Jayenge, was released in 1995 when I was only 7 years old but I will never forget the first time I watched it and how it made me feel. Since then, the movie has become the longest running film in the history of Indian cinema. In fact, it still plays in some theatres in India today.

The story is about a girl named Simran who lives in London with her loving but very traditional parents. She’s just finished college and her parents are beginning discussion about getting her married to the son of an old family friend from back in India. Simran is horrified, she respects her family and Indian customs and culture but she has secretly had an amazing fantasy that one day, instead of having an arranged marriage, she will marry the man of her dreams. She hasn't met him yet but she is a hopeless romantic and believes that her soul mate is out there...Crushed by this arranged marriage, Simran still eventually but reluctantly agrees to her parent’s wishes. What happens then when as a last hoorah before leaving to get married in India, Simran takes a trip through Europe with some friends where she meets Raj, a bad boy with a great heart?

Here’s a little scene from the film that sums up why I adore this movie and EXACTLY what and where my “unrealistic expectations of love” came from. In this scene, Raj and Simran have been separated from the rest of the group while travelling through Europe and have had to spend the night in a hotel before catching a train to meet up with their tour group the next day. Raj takes Simran out drinking for her first time and the next morning when she wakes up in his bed, everything goes horribly wrong.



I think it’s pretty evident in this clip exactly why this movie has helped shape my definition of love. Even when things are less than ideal, love seems to be perfect, ideal, passionate, supportive, kind, unconditional, and just very lovely. Is this the case in real life? Stay tuned to find out!

How does one even begin to write a blog? There seems to be so much pressure- will the writing entice the reader? Will it be interesting? Funny? Epic? Tragic? Will I be able to attract you with my first few words?

If I’m being completely honest, I’ll admit, I don’t really know. What I do know is that I’m writing this blog for a school assignment...but that although mandatory, in the history of my education, this may be one of my favourite assignments I’ve ever had to complete (and that’s about 18 years worth...) Seriously! Why? Maybe because I love writing. And writing with a purpose? Writing while opening up a forum to talk about issues and ideas that are important to you with similarly (or not so similarly) passionate people? How exciting! That’s a gift.

So where to begin? I guess first I should introduce myself. My name is Kiran and I am a first year Creative Communications student at Red River College. Before this, I attended both the University of Manitoba and the University of Winnipeg. I have a double major in Communications and Psychology. I decided to come to Red River because at the end of the day, I really want to be a journalist....or a broadcaster...or to just have a show that’s named the Kiran Show (run similarly to the Oprah show). Anyways, Red River and this program seemed to be the best avenue to follow that dream, at least in Winnipeg, and I am thrilled to be a part of the program.

In order to enrol though, I had to do something that I’d been dreading. Quitting my fabulous job. I have just spent the past 15 months working at Manitoba Film and Music as a Locations Services Coordinator. Basically, MBFM is the province’s Film Commission and my job was intricate, stressful, hard...but exciting, exhilarating, and challenging all at once. I spent a lot of time reading feature film scripts and analyzing them. I’d then create packages for offshore producers in which I matched the locations in the scripts with different locations in Manitoba that could double for the script’s locations. Once that was done, I was in constant communication with the producers...basically convincing them to film their movie in our province. Then, when producers came to the province to get a feel for what we could offer, it was my job to take them around, schmooze, get them familiar with the province and our locations, and entice them to shoot their movie here. It was a hard, time sensitive, detail oriented, and difficult job...but it was an amazing experience that I loved. I had the opportunity to work with some of the greatest people I’ve ever met.

In order to keep my job though, I worked full time during the day and did full time night school at the U of W so that I could still finish my degree. This lead to quite a difficult year for me but one in which I learnt a lot. That being said, I was glad to shift gears and go back to just being a student this year. I’m excited to focus solely on this program and have fun while I’m at it (I’ve taken up a part time waitressing job on the side! I’ll let you know how it goes!)

So where does that leave me now? What kind of a person am I really? I guess this leads me to the topic of my blog (if you’re still interested! :)). I thought a lot about it...and decided finally to write about the thing that I know the most about; love.

Now I know, I’m young...how much could I possibly know about this vast, intricate, and complicated topic? I’ll admit...not everything. That being said, I find myself always being asked for advice on the topic. I realize that I am no expert and I know that most of the time, people come to me with their problems just because I love to listen (and who doesn’t like to talk while someone truly listens?) But because of my listening skills and the fact that I am a hopeless romantic, I think I’ve acquired enough information about love to make it my blog topic. I’ll be writing about all kinds of love: relationships (good and bad), platonic love, companionate love, familial love, and movies, songs, books, and experiences that pertain to it. Every post I’ll explore another issue, problem, or experience that relates to love and find some way to dissect the issue! Sound passionate? Well good... I am :)